


Jared in the Bedroom

by LordOfVibes



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Character Study, Crying, F/M, Hurt No Comfort, I'm Sorry, Jared Kleinman Is Bad at Feelings, Jared is mad at the world, Jared is pretty much mad at everybody but mainly Connor and Zoe, Jealousy, M/M, Not really happy ending, One-Sided Attraction, Pining, Sad, Sad Pining, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, jared kleinman character study, this is so sad alexa play words fail
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-23
Updated: 2020-11-23
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:27:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27685580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LordOfVibes/pseuds/LordOfVibes
Summary: "I hate you, I love you, I hate that I love you."Jared just lost his best friend in the whole world. He cries about it.
Relationships: Evan Hansen/Jared Kleinman (One-sided), Evan Hansen/Zoe Murphy
Comments: 1
Kudos: 24





	Jared in the Bedroom

It’s late at night on a school night, and Jared’s crying in his bed. 

He doesn’t exactly know how he’s crying, Jared barely wept open tears, but here he is. Tears are streaming down fast, staining his cheeks, dripping down into his open palms. He softly whimpered and cried, because that was all he could do. 

But he knows exactly why he’s crying. It’s because he just lost the best friendship he’s ever had. 

Yes, it was partially Jared’s fault for the whole situation, since he was the one who kept saying that Evan should go to dinner with the Murphys since they had invited him. But everyone was at fault here. It was Evan’s fault for not just ‘nodding and confirming’ as Jared said. It was the Murphy's fault for being so mentally distraught from Connor’s death that they couldn’t accept that Evan wrote that letter to himself. It was Alana’s fault for coming up with the idea for the Connor Project. It was Connor’s fault for signing Evan’s cast and committing suicide. 

Really, this whole thing was Connor’s fault. If Connor hadn’t signed Evan’s cast and then just went off and died, none of this would’ve happened. Jared and Evan would still be best friends. He might’ve even had a chance with Evan. 

And then Evan started lying, because he couldn’t just nod and confirm. He started lying about emails, and being Connor’s secret best friend, and how he broke his arm, and nothing was true at this point. And of course, the Murphys didn’t suspect a thing. They were too mortified by their son’s death that they just ate up every lie Evan gave them. 

Of course Jared helped Evan write the emails. He didn’t want the Murphys to find out that all of this was fake. And he genuinely wanted to hang out with Evan, even though he didn’t really express it. Because Jared had been crushing on Evan for the longest time. He’s still crushing on Evan there, curled up into a ball, crying on his bed. But instead of that crush giving him hope as it did back then, all it does is hurt him now. 

And it hurt even more because Evan had fallen in love with someone else. Zoe, Zoe Murphy, Connor Murphy’s sister, the only thing that gave Evan happiness. Of course Zoe was the only reason Evan was still happy, Zoe was amazing and perfect and talented, everything that Jared wasn’t. All that Jared wanted was to be the thing that made Evan happy, to be the light of Evan’s life. 

That’s the thought that makes Jared fall forward, his tears soaking the bed, his cries muffled by the blanket. 

Zoe would’ve never gotten with Evan if Connor hadn’t died. That’s who he should blame. Connor Murphy. If Connor Murphy hadn’t died, then things would be okay. Because things are far from okay now. That thought makes Jared feel a little better, but it doesn’t help much, because his memory is still haunted by that day. What he said to Evan out of defense replaying in his memory like a broken record. 

Evan kept lying, because that was all he could do. He even got Alana Beck to help with his lie, not even knowing Evan was lying at all, and had the idea for the Connor Project, something that was supposedly supposed to help hundreds of people. Jared also helped, because he wanted to help Evan. He couldn’t leave his best family friend hanging. 

The Connor Project got unbelievable amounts of fame. People donated to restoring the orchard and helped other people who were in similar situations as Connor was. Or, in a similar situation to how they made up Connor was. They truly didn’t know what Connor was going through. All they knew was that he had something going on with him and he smoked weed and it got so bad that he commit suicide. And they kept churning out these lies like it’s a factory, but it satisfied their followers, so everything was going well. 

Until Alana found inconsistencies in the emails. So Evan went up to Jared, asking for help. Jared was kind of defensive about his emotions. He really was mad at Evan for lying. But he was mad at the world too. He was mad at Connor for starting this situation, and really mad at Zoe for stealing the heart of the guys he loves. So he lashed out, told Evan that he wasn’t gonna help anymore, and stormed out of the cafeteria. 

Jared assumed they were done. That he and Evan were no longer friends, not even family friends. That put Jared into a very, very emotional state. He wanted Evan, he craved Evan, he needed Evan. Now he was helpless, drowning in a sea of tears with nothing to grab onto to save his life. Jared bet Evan didn’t even miss him. Honestly, who would? Jared was a pretty shitty friend, especially to Evan. He knew that. He just wasn’t very good with emotions. He was depressed too, he just had a different coping mechanism. Evan shouldn’t have gotten all the credit just because his coping mechanism was ‘don’t talk to anyone, ever. Just hide in your room all the time.’ 

Now here is his. Jared, laying face down on his bed, crying his heart out over a boy he had just lost, his best friend in the entire world. Or at least he was his best friend. 

At least Evan was happy now. Happy with Zoe, happy that now he was basically adopted by a new family who truly cared about him. That was all that Jared cared about anymore. That was the thought that made Jared fall asleep, a small, sad smile gracing his lips.


End file.
